staff communication skills

The greatest influence on school climate lies in the words and actions of our school adults. Typically, when educators work systemically on school climate they first try teaching social and emotional skills (SEL) to students or replacing a punitive, exclusionary discipline policy with one that supports collaborative solutions.  While both of these strategies are essential, neither one of them will actually succeed unless the adults in the school are modeling the words and empathic behaviors that we are trying to teach our students.  This includes all school administrators and all staff and how they communicate with their colleagues, students and parents.  

Communication skills are easily taught and developed.  The goal is not to "get someone to do something."  Rather, the goal of mindful/nonviolent communication is to become more aware of what we are thinking, feeling, and needing and how well we are listening with compassion for what matters most to others. Instead of judging, blaming or criticizing, we first tune into what others are feeling and wanting, confirm if we are understanding correctly, and then share what's important to us.  This sets the stage for making a request that would be received well, or developing a solution collaboratively.   

Observation, Feelings, Needs and Requests are the 4 steps of Mindful (NonViolent) Communication.   Marshall Rosenberg and Oren Sofer have contributed significantly to this approach, teaching it to the general public. Other work called "Empathic Communication" has been used in business and therapeutic trainings for decades.   Click on the link in the right-hand column to learn more about bringing these life-changing skills to your school.

We are actually not in charge of the meaning of the messages we communicate.  As the sender, we choose the words and bodily movements that are transmitted. However,  the person receiving our message is responsible for giving it meaning.  We need to carefully examine their verbal and non-verbal clues to determine how our message was received. When we communicate empathically, we  consider their feelings and needs and not just our own. 

This entire site is dedicated to helping you develop an inviting school, with COMMUNICATION  as the foundation for helping  everyone realize their potential. 

It is unreasonable to expect everyone to suddenly change the way they communicate.  However, when we explore new ways together, staff members (and parents) discover that they don’t need controls to “get someone to do something.”  Their needs and the needs of those they work with are met respectfully — simply because we’ve learned how to listen for the other person’s feelings and needs, and reflect on our own.  We discover a new way of interacting with others and our personal and professional relationships improve.  I’ve noticed that when someone has success applying these skills to challenges in their personal life, they are eager to use them consistently in their professional life. 

So, helping school adults to respond with curiosity and thoughtfulness when a student, parent or colleague says or does something that upsets them, is one of the most important SEL skills we can use in our personal and professional relationships. Staff Communication Skills also ensure that our efforts to respond to challenging behaviors will also be successful.

After exploring the Staff Communication information and  links on this page, the next destinations on our school climate journey will be Keys #2 and #3.

Next Learn About:

Key #2: SEL Lessons for Students 

Key #3: Collaborative & Proactive Discipline Strategies